October 17, 2019 | Dear Eric, It's not possible to ever fully return from a solitary venture into the deep desert. The mountains, yes. The sea, maybe - unless we go very far off-shore, and, of course, alone. But the desert, far off road, alone and past the point we neither see nor hear the others. No, we can't ever fully return from such adventure. Something of us always remains out there. Well, the something lost isn't really out there, it's simply removed from us and lost the moment it goes away. The something evaporates away into space like water spilt upon hot sand which we think sinks in to the place, but which really simply disappears before our eyes
and is gone as vapor. That's what happens to some part of us way out there alone in the desert. We become less. There's less of us ever to move forward. And nothing comes in to replace what is lost—it is lost forever. And such a blessing is the absence. I can hardly share with you the experience. You'd have to lose it for yourself to really know.
Full blog post URL: https://www.goingalone.org/post/becoming-a-nihilist
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